SnowflowerChapter One. Dark thoughts.Snowflower by Madara-Nycteris
Every day, since he left the Wall, he had imagined Pyp. “What will be my little mummer doing?” used to think Grenn. Firstly, he pictured him humming some happy song in the kitchens of Castle Black, or carrying vegetable baskets while talking to other stewards “I bet the Great Ranging will be not that great; Lord Commander and the others will come back soon, because I’m pretty sure they could not make it for a long time without our delicious food, hehehe! When they return, we have to be ready to receive them with enough soup and bread. You will see; we will be quite busy then”. He would be working hard and doing japes to other brothers, so, probably would not find time for loneliness. That idea comforted Grenn for some weeks, before nights become long and cloudy. That was when he knew they had arrived to the real North, where sleeping or washing themselves was almost impossible due to cold. Even then, lying inside his improvised
Fire and Mud: a GoT Parody - Chapter ThreeFire and Mud: a GoT Parody - Chapter Three by Shannon175
“Catelyn? What are you doing here? Has something happened to Bran?” Ned asked worriedly.
Her eyes narrowed. “You mean apart from being thrown from a tower window and paralysed from the waist down?” she asked testily. “No. He has not awoken yet, but I have discovered his attacker and made an arrest.”
“Oh?” Cersei asked in interest.
“Oh, yes,” a bitter voice said from behind Littlefinger. “And she wouldn’t even wait for me to get dressed first.”
Cersei and Ned looked around in bewilderment, then looked down.
Tyrion Lannister, aka the Imp, the Halfman and You, glared up at his sister in reproach, a chain hanging from his neck and wrists and his small form stooped in exhaustion – amidst the scant clothing upon his person, that is. And even his underwear was only half pulled up, leaving his backside revealed to all from the back.
“You,” Cersei greeted him loathsomely.
“He did it?” Jof
Fire and Mud: a GoT Parody - Chapter TwoFire and Mud: a GoT Parody - Chapter Two by Shannon175
A raven landed on the shoulder of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen as she stood in the centre of the Dothraki campsite. The khalasar train had halted for the evening and were setting up camp as an exhausted raven finally caught up with them and collapsed on Dany, almost dead.
She had just disentangled the message from the bird’s leg when Jorah Mormont arrived at a sprint and snatched the letter from her hand.
“Sir Jorah?” she asked questioningly.
“Apologies, princess, I have been expecting this letter for some time,” he said quickly, unrolling the letter hastily.
Dany shrugged and turned to glance around for her brother. “Dark wings, dark words,” she muttered. “Isn’t that what they say?”
“Not so on this occasion,” he replied, “at least not for us. King Robert Baratheon is dead. His son is ruling in his place.”
“Excellent,” she said in surprise. “What did he die of?”
Fire and Mud: a GoT Parody - Chapter OneFire and Mud: a GoT Parody - Chapter One by Shannon175
The newly crowned King Joffrey Baratheon of Westeros sat upon the Iron Throne with a smug smirk as his mother stood by his side, looking rather more cheerful than usual. Her husband had just died. This was not unexpected. He was a glutton and a drunk: his liver and stomach had unanimously decided to commit treason once the first opportunity arose, before either of them exploded, and the queen had been of a similar mind ever since Joffrey had been born.
As it turned out, none of the above had to do a single thing.
Robert Baratheon had been with his court shortly before the tragic accident, where they had been discussing various matters with his newly appointed Hand, Eddard Stark, when Varys arrived twenty minutes later than usual.
“You’re late,” King Robert snapped. “What’s your excuse this time? One of your little birds shit on you?”
“Hopefully not this time, your grace,” Varys said apologetically. “I have news of the Targaryens. Th
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